I’ve been an Anarcho-Capitalist for a few years and an atheist for a bit longer. I would be remiss in stating that what I went through to become an atheist and in realizing myself as an Anarcho-Capitalist didn’t go hand-in-hand, in my own personal journey. It wasn’t some sudden shock of violence and oppression from the Church or from the state that led me to realize myself as these things, but a gradual and arduous search for truth in life. It was the result of seeing and facing multiple adversities and existential conflicts in life that allowed me to “free” myself of a life that would have me live in a slave mentality.
This is not to say anything against individuals who are religious and practice religion, because I hold no qualms with individuals who derive happiness and inner peace from it. The purpose of this piece is solely to illustrate a short glimpse into my life and how I came to be the man I am today.
My relationship with religion and with God has always been a strained one, ever since I was a child. I was born to parents who divorced when I was still a toddler, one who was a former Catholic and practiced Christianity in a Non-Denomination manner and another who was a Catholic on paper. On top of dealing with racial issues in my life (I am a man with 3/4’s of my ethnicity being of Hispanic descent), I had dealt with issues with other children about my religion because I wasn’t baptized at birth, as other children I went to school with were. In my home life, I suffered verbal and physical abuse, never quite finding the escape from it or the ability to somehow relieve it, as I would often pray to God that I could one day find. No matter how hard I prayed or how devout of a Christian I was, it seemed that God had abandoned me, leaving me to suffer as Job had.
Growing up, I had noticed that in many different sects of Christianity had a very judgmental and prejudicial culture that was perpetuated throughout the communities I was involved in. Going to Southern Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, Non-Denominational, and Catholic parishes, there always seemed to be that threat of being ostracized and lambasted by fellow members of those churches if I engaged in behavior that wasn’t expected of a parishioner.
From the age of 8, I would swear regularly and casually in conversation, watch television programs and films that weren’t deemed “appropriate” for me, both due to my age and because of the expectations placed on me as a Christian, and I was especially curious about sexuality. This, of course, was symptomatic of being the product of divorced parents and of being abused, but the theological element seemed to only exacerbate these issues in my developmental years. These issues would also be reflected in my academic experiences, where I often received detention for swearing or not completing assignments, I would get into fights with other students from time to time, and my teachers attempted to place me on medication for ADD and ADHD due to my non-conformity with the schools.
In both the Church and in school, I never felt comfortable there or that I quite belonged there. Of course, I went through the motions that the culture local to me pressed upon me. In the 7th grade, I had undergone the Catholic rite of Baptism, Communion, and Confirmation, which brought me closer to my classmates. In middle school and high school, I started to do well, academically speaking, and felt a bit more comfortable in socializing with others. My improved social skills was due to my seeing a therapist in the 9th grade, working through some of the psychological issues that I had, and having the abusive parent in my life move away to a different state.
I had stayed out of politics for most of my childhood and adolescent life, though occasionally parroting whatever rhetoric was popular amongst my peers or whatever my parents’ views were. In my later years of high school, I tended to have ambiguous political opinions because of my apathy of it, which could also be said of my relationship with Christianity at the time. I was still learning to grow, as an individual, and didn’t think that those things had any relevance in my life. Especially after reflecting on all of the abuses, ostracization, and neglect I had experienced from my family life, the parishes I was part of, and of the schools that government required me to attend, I wanted no part of any of it.
Then, around 2011, I was placed in a situation that I would never forget. I had already graduated and was looking for a job, to no avail, when I was offered by one of my parents to stay at their old house and have me go to college at their expense. I never saw the value of going to college, since I wanted to be a musician and most people that I knew had gone to college for Music Performance never became successful from it. My hand was forced when my other parent had to move to another state, due to a job offer there and the lack of jobs in my home state, and off I went to live with the parent that abused me for most of my life.
It was then where I fell into a deep depression, falling into one bad relationship after another, failing courses due to my inability to focus, and that parent had fallen back into their old ways. I went back to therapy and there realized how much of a strain it was for myself to continue holding on to these beliefs of “God always being there for me” and that “School is the only option, you HAVE to go through school to be successful in life!” I then dropped out of college, moved to another state to avoid my abusive parent, and began to start a new life.
Even though it was a notoriously religious state, I made quite a few friends there who were atheists and who I could share my thoughts with about atheism and my journey to becoming one. I had found work there almost immediately, leading me to work full-time at a well-paying company for 3 years. There, I had learned about Anarcho-Capitalism from looking around on YouTube, trying to find a different take on the George Zimmerman case, and found Stefan Molyneux. I absorbed everything I could from Stefan and found other people in the community who I could learn from and talk to.
I became a much different and more mentally stable person that I ever was, more so than I could’ve imagined as an 8 year old who cried himself to sleep every night, praying to God to save him. Still, there was still that angst and rage inside of me that manifested itself from time to time. In my early days as an Anarcho-Capitalist, I took to arguing with anyone that sided with the state or urged me to be much more tolerant of them. It wasn’t healthy and I knew it, but it was the only way I knew how to act. It bled into various blogs, podcasts, websites, and in my social media interactions, causing any attempt I had made to collapse in on itself.
After a while, I stopped trying to be a vocal advocate for Anarcho-Capitalism, feeling like there really wasn’t anyone out there who was willing to apply their principles in their interactions with others. I had lost hope again, not caring one way or another as to what happened. Then, I took it upon myself to reflect on AnCap morals and ethics. To think about exactly how it is that I should act, what I should advocate for and against, and how my interactions with other members within my community and outside of it should go.
To Be Continued…